Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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