I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize