Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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