my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
