I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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