So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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