Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
