Say something about gay babies.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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