I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
two words: eviction party
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
