Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
