ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
