I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
