He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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