I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
wow bdsm is so cute
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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