The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
don't judge my taste in strippers
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
