all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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