There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
