I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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