you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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