omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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