Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
only you would photoshop your dick
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We're too hungover to prance.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize