So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
