hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
