hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
