whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
