he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
