Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
