I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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