We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
time to smoke my breakfast
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
