EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
