But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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