So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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