When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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