So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can feel your judgement through the phone
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
