We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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