my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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