No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
