YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
