this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
