K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
