She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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