YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
