just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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