Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize