i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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