only if we run a train.
done.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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