they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
