i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
