Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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