he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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