he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
