My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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