Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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