Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize