He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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