Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
