her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
