I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
