Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I want her autograph on my taint
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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