Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
