I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
