Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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