What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
