I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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