His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
